Song Description

Appeal from a guy who is a psychic...but can only see a miserable future

Lyrics

I'm the pessimistic psychic, I know what's to come
I can see into the future, and the future's pretty glum
I know your car's on it's last legs and your cat's stuck up a tree
The pessimistic psychic can predict your misery

I'm the pessimistic psychic, I don't charge a fee
Disasters and catastrophes--they're all yours for free
If you don't believe me, just turn on the evening news
By the time you're finished watching, I know you're gonna have the blues

[bridge]
Now I'm not tryin' to bring ya down or keep you from ever tryin'
But the odds are stacked against ya, Son, and you know I'm not lyin'

I'm the pessimistic psychic, I've seen the future once or twice
I know what's in store for you, and trust me--it's not nice
Yeah, all those lucky breaks you think are coming any day
I can tell, it'll be a snowy day in Hell, if they every come your way

I'm the pessimistic psychic, don't need a crystal ball
Gloom and rain, it's laid out plain, and I can see it all
If there's any good fortune around the bend or somewhere up ahead
No matter how near, by the time it's here, you'll probably be dead

[2nd bridge]
Oh, the world can be a nasty place; there's no doubt about this
But if you ignore the obvious, then ignorance is bliss

I'm the Pessimistic Psychic, and I'm gonna leave ya now
I know I've laid you low, but you'll get by somehow
Despite all the troubles and the misery, you'll still carry on
And by the time you hear this song, I'll be dead and gone