Story Behind The Song
I started writing the first line of this song after another sad discussion with my husband about our very long fertility struggle. This is terribly personal, but I know many people have dealt with these issues so I guess I can just lay it out there. It's just so hard to deal with because you feel so powerless and you kind of have to shield yourself from the heartache of it after awhile. I had originally started writing this song as a 4/4 rocker but I played it for Connie Mims and she thought it might work as a country waltz! It was a pretty cool switch up. The song kind of morphed into a relationship song as we wrote it but I think a lot of people can relate to that ambivalence of trying to care but having to shut it off to survive somedays. Footnote: I'm happy to report that there's a happy ending to the struggle - our son Gus was born in February of 2011!
Song Description
The singer struggles with communication and showing her true feelings in a relationship
| Song Length |
3:08 |
Genre |
Country - Americana, Country - Traditional |
| Tempo |
Medium Slow (91 - 110) |
Lead Vocal |
Female Vocal |
| Mood |
Poignant, Heartbreaking |
Subject |
Dysfunctional Relations, Regret |
| Similar Artists |
Linda Ronstadt, Bonnie Raitt |
Language |
English |
Lyrics
It's not that I don't want to talk about it
But I don't want to talk about it
It's not that I don't care
But I just don't care
If I make your mountain into a molehill
If I turn a blizzard into a breeze
It's not that I don't have a heart
I don't have a sleeve
It's not that I don't think about us
But I just don't think about us
It's not that I can't cry
But I just can't cry anymore
We could spend the whole night talking in circles
We could spend the next day coming unwound
How can we meet in the middle
Standing our ground?
You can't wrap your head around it
But my heart is hopelessly wrapped around you
I would tell you I wish you believed me
When I say I believe in you
But I won't
But it's not that I don't
It's not that I can't live without you
But I just can't live without you
It's not that I want to let go
But I want to let it go
I conquered my fear of the water
I jumped in & sank like a stone
I may not know how to love you
I may not know how to love you
It's not that I don't
This track is on 1 Member Playlists