Song Description

Patriotic spoof of a song... subplot:Funny story about a guy in a bar fight w/ an old man and the bar maid comes to his rescue

Lyrics

HOME OF THE BRAVE
words & music by David Rhoads

Well we live in a weird and a wacky world
where girls will be boys and boys will be girls
and cops are really crooks and crooks run for head of state

Now I don?t claim to have it all figured out
I don?t know whether to laugh, cry or shout
I?m just tryin? hard to stay out of the way

But let me tell you ?bout a night in Washington D.C.
that scared the livin? Hell outta me
and sent me running back down to New Orleans

I was in this seedy bar called ?The Home of the Brave?
when this old man who looked like he lived in a cave
said I think I could kick your clock clean

He said ?What the Hell you doing here??
And I said ?I?m just tryin? to finish my beer
and I?ll be wazzu outta here and out of your life.?

Well his hearing must a been as bad as his breath
and he gave me a look as cold as death
and said ?What the Hell you just say about my wife??

CHORUS
Well the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave
Gonna land a man like me in an early grave
Well I?m too old to run and I?m to young to hide
The sign over the bar said to Live Free or Die!!!


Well I kicked the old man right in the shins
Then two big bad dudes walked in
they looked at the old man and I knew they must be his sons

Well the old man looked like he was gonna cry
but behind the tears was an evil look in his eye
He said ?Boys send this bastard to Kingdom Come?

Well I figured I had about two minutes to live
So I gave the waitress a little kiss
And asked her if she?d like to be my wife

To my suprise her answer wasn?t no
and she turned out to be a master of Tie Quan Do
and that night she literally saved my life

She turned to the biggest baddest guy
with a chop to the neck and a kick in the eye
he dropped to the floor like a wet sack of wheat

The other two, they started to flee
but she caught ?em and made them apologize to me
they both got down on their knees and kissed my feet

CHORUS
Well the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave
Gonna land a man like me in an early grave
Well I?m too old to run and I?m to young to hide
The sign over the bar said to Live Free or Die!!!