The Fantastic Slapping Adventures of a Tuesday Night

Story Behind The Song

A story of a night on the town, drinking Guiness.

Song Description

A man is searching for his favorite beer, and after some adventures, finds it.

Song Length 4:32 Genre World - Celtic, World - Celtic
Tempo Medium Fast (131 - 150) Lead Vocal Male Vocal
Mood Sociable Subject Alchohol, Beer, Wine, Silliness
Language English Era 2000 and later

Lyrics

Beer will grow a belly
Right around your middle
It'll shake around like jelly
When you hear the fiddle

So lift your glass up high
And don't forget to shout
Here's a cheer to drinking beer
Especially the stout

I'd had some lovely porter
At a pub the other day
The black stuff makes me chatty
And I met everyone in the place.
The bartender said, "You've had enough,
"You should go and have a nap!"
I said, "I'll have a Guinness!"
And gave his face a slap

CHORUS
--------------------------------------------------
I don't mean to seem irate
I want the beer from St. James' Gate
A frothy head would be just great
Hurry now don't make me wait
I want the beer from St. James' Gate
--------------------------------------------------

So I went into the new sports bar,
And ordered me a stout
The barman rolled his eyes at me
And told me to get out.
He said, "We got Coors and Bud Light,
but we don't serve that crap."
I said, "I'll have a Guinness!"
and gave his face a slap

CHORUS

Around the corner to a different pub
I ordered me a glass
The barman shook his head at me
And said, "You're quite an ass!"
"You have to tell me what you want,
we've over 50 beers on tap!"
I said, "I'll have a Guinness!"
and gave his face a slap

CHORUS

Then I fell into a micro pub
And poured myself into a chair
The list was chalk, I had to gawk:
Fermented mulch with avocado hair!
The server wore a waistcoat
And a man-bun in a strap,
I said, "I'll have a Guiness!"
And gave his face a slap

CHORUS

Then I found a pirate bar
The smell of coffee everywhere
They had a mermaid logo
With long, green, wavy hair
Then a man in a green apron asked
"An espresso, or a frapp?"
I said, "I'll have a Guiness!"
And gave his face a slap

CHORUS

Then it was a Mexican place
Everyone was having a great time
They were all drinking margaritas
With a salted rim and lime
Someone handed me a long neck
And as they went to pop the cap
I said, "I'll have a Guiness!"
And gave their face a slap

CHORUS

One last pub I stumbled in,
Now I know, pubs can look the same
But this one really looked familiar,
Everybody knew my name!
The bartender said,
"Not you again!, "not you again!"
So I took off my cap
I said, "I'll have a Guinness!"
and fell face-first on the mat!

CHORUS

When I finally came to
It was a crazy scene
I saw the man bun with [the Mexicans | a red-haired cop]
And the barrista pointed right at me,
"That's the man there, officer!
"He's all over the map!"
The red-haired cop handed me a Guinness
And they all began to clap

--------------------------------------------------
CHORUS
--------------------------------------------------
I don't mean to seem irate
I want the beer from St. James' Gate
A frothy head would be just great
Hurry now don't make me wait
I want the beer from St. James' Gate

Jail time would not be great
I want the beer from St James Gate

Officer Paddy and I can drink our weight
In pints of beer from St. James Gate

Our frothy heads are tasting great
We'll have another seven or eight
We want the beer from St James Gate
We want the beer from St James Gate

Lyrics Patrick Noel Russ, Sean Lightholder Music Patrick Noel Russ
Producer Brad Barth, CaliCeltic

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