Song Description

Brokenhearted man humorously thinks that drowning his sorrows is healthy because alcohol is made from vegetables

Lyrics

I got the message from the USDA
Eat fruits and vegetables five times a day
Olives and nuts, lots of whole grain
Good for your heart and good for your brain

Now heartache and headache, I know how that feels
That's why I'm striving for healthier meals
As long as I keep eating healthy I find
You and me both are out of my mind

Chorus: Now I'm drinking my grapes, red, white and rosé
I'm drinking corn at least twice a day
Vodka is made from potatoes I hear
Some like theirs mashed, but I like mine clear
And I'm eating beer nuts when I'm eating at all
And hops are whole grains, and so's barley malt
In vino veritas, vigor, and youth
Olives are good with a little vermouth

Hard cider's good for an apple a day
It helps keep the doctor and the memories away
Tomato juice helps me start each day off right
with the hair of that dog that bit me last night

Now I'm thriving on five, like they recommend
I'm thriving most days on at least nine or ten
They say you should run for an hour a day
Well, I do at least that much running away

Chorus