Song Description

Family hilarious mix up...

Lyrics

"My Cousin's Ex Is Now My Step-Sister"
Written by Yves Stilmant © 2025
A redneck soap opera of love, confusion, and barbecue-based betrayals

[Verse 1]
She dated Brad -- my cousin twice
They broke it off, like cheap white rice
Then Mama met her dad in jail
They hit it off through sliding mail
Next thing I know, she's moving in
With wedding cake and her fake twin
Now Christmas feels like court appeal
And I don't know what's fake or real

[Pre-Chorus]
I used to date her back in May
Now I call her sis? Or bae?

[Chorus]
My cousin's ex is now my step-sister
My family tree just grew a blister
We grilled hot dogs at the wedding bash
While Uncle Rick lit off his stash
My cousin's ex is now my step-sister
I can't hug her now... without a whisper

[

Verse 2]
Her mom divorced my grandpa twice
But still brings casseroles on ice
Her brother married Aunt Nadine
Who once eloped with Dale -- age 13
We play charades on Friday night
But all the clues start family fights
The baby shower had three cakes
And none were for the actual babe

[Pre-Chorus]
I drew a chart and it caught fire
Then Grandma danced on a spare tire

[Chorus]
My cousin's ex is now my step-sister
And she still flirts -- which makes it weirder
She winks at me, then calls me "bro"
While Grandpa DJs "Cotton-Eyed Joe"
My cousin's ex is now my step-sister
I need a priest... or at least a filter

[Bridge]
We ain't broke laws -- that's what we think
But the county clerk just poured a drink
He said, "Son, you're legal... but barely so"
Then handed me a form... from Maury's Show

[Final Chorus]
My cousin's ex is now my step-sister
My therapist says, "Please reconsider"
I bought her flowers -- she said, "That's cute"
Then high-fived me and borrowed my boots
My cousin's ex is now my step-sister
And I just cried... at the family Twister