Song Description

Chaos got a certification...

Lyrics

"Certified Country Chaos"
By Yves Stilmant © 2025
Verse 1A
I got squirrels in my attic and goats in the yard,
The raccoon stole the truck, now it won't start.
Grandpa's in a kiddie pool drinkin' from a boot,
And Uncle Earl's dancin' in a camo suit.
Verse 1B
The mailbox blew up on the Fourth of July,
We still ain't fixed it but we sure got pie.
Neighbors stopped complainin' -- they just moved out,
Now we got the whole block shoutin' out loud--

Chorus
This here's certified country chaos,
Lawn full of junk and a fridge full of hot sauce.
We don't need sense when we got style,
Duck tape dreams and a possum pile!
Life gets weird, but we don't fuss --
It's redneck pride and a whole lotta dust.
Ain't no shame, just raise your glass --
This is certified country chaos!

Verse 2A
Granny's on the roof yellin' "Turn that down!"
But she's the one blarin' Shania Twain in town.
The chickens got loose in the hardware store,
Now they sell eggs in aisle 4.
Verse 2B
Mama's on TikTok with the garden hose,
Sprayin' down Earl while he strikes a pose.
Sheriff stopped by but he stayed for a beer,
Said, "Y'all got issues, but I like it here."

Chorus
This here's certified country chaos,
Grandpa's pants and the grill just caught fire.
We don't do calm, we don't do bland,
We ride lawn mowers like a rock 'n roll band!
We bless this mess with a rebel shout --
If it ain't broke, we still break out.
Paint's all chipped but our hearts are brass --
This is certified country chaos!

Bridge (Shouted over Banjo Solo)
Gasoline? Check.
Fireworks? Check.
Common sense? Never had it, never will.

Final Chorus
This here's certified country chaos,
Like BBQ sauce in a baptist choir loft.
Raise your dog, raise your kid, raise a goat,
If you can't fix it -- ride it, don't gloat.
Ain't no law for havin' this much fun --
Just a family, a truck, and a loaded squirt gun.
So holler back, 'cause we kick grass --
In this certified country... CHAOS!